I’m not afraid anymore.

Each time, I told myself I would not cry over a guy. For the first time, whatever happened between me and him somehow really hurt me and I’m left feeling empty. Before I met him, I was a happy bubbly girl, but now I feel my soul has turn into a dark dead forest. Anything happy turns into black.

I’ve been working on visualizations for my project and when my professor saw the most recent version, he asked if something bad was happening in my life and if I wanted to talk to him about it. I hesitated for a minute and answered “no, I’ll make it more colorful”. But when I put the colorful flowers back into the picture, the picture didn’t look right to me.

The thing is, that’s just me. The reason I enjoy doing visualizations is I’m an emotional person and working on visualizations help me express the emotions. On my social side, these past few months have been difficult for me because I was majorly stepping out of my boundaries and experiencing new (but fun) things. And then everything just went downhill but that’s when I realized that I didn’t need saving from him. I didn’t need anyone to save me anymore because I already changed for the better. I became an even more outgoing person and wasn’t afraid of taking chances / control of my own life. He disappeared on me and whatever the reason is, I have no regrets about him or hold no grudges against him. The better part is I hope he doesn’t regret leaving me. Maybe I will show him what he’s missing, but I really do not care what he wants anymore. My deadline to end everything with him was June 17, 2017 and he’s officially gone from my life. I will never ever have to see him again…unless my friends end up inviting both of us to the same party. But I will not interact with him. Here’s to a new me, a better me.