“Listen with you heart. You will understand.”
-Grandmother Willow from Pocahontas.
How many people actually believe in love at first sight? Can a person really fall in love with someone just by one glance? In ‘One Day in December’ by Josie Silver, the lead girl and her best friend try to answer a few questions about dating, relationships, and marriage. Of course, one of the questions is “what’s the first thing a girl notices about a guy?” to connect to the theme about ‘love at first sight’. When the girl finally answers the question seriously, her answer is “eyes” which is my answer to the question too. To me, eye contact between two people at the moment they meet is important and usually marks the beginning of my stories.
The first time the two main characters met reminded me of when I met a British guy on the tube and we immediately started a conversation that lasted only during the distance between two stations. Then, my friends and I got off the tube and I had to say goodbye to my “subway prince” (as my friend nicknamed him) and my short-lived fairy tale.
While reading “One Day in December”, I constantly wondered what would have happened if subway prince and I exchanged contact information. But I do tell myself that things happen for a reason and I would not have experienced the other short stories that occurred after his. The random conversation I had with subway prince on May 1, 2012 has shown my ability to initiate conversation with the people around me. The one takeaway from the book is that when one keeps thinking what she should do next or perfecting her next move, many missed opportunities will pass by. One should just go with the flow or else she will spend the rest of your life wondering about the what ifs. Things must happen for a reason and even if the reason doesn’t appear at that instant moment, it will eventually reveal itself.
As a hopeless romantic, I’ve created my own love story in my head and I believe that I have to make that story come true. After reading the book, I’ve come to realize that whenever I’m afraid of getting hurt, I tend to find ways to take myself out of the situation by immediately ending the story and justifying my action by saying “I have that story to follow.” But my justification is an excuse not to commit, not to get heartbroken once more, and not to learn how to trust again.
A person cannot change someone. However, a person can change themselves. I’m not changing myself for someone; instead, I’m changing myself because the 5-year-old me had a dream that she wanted to turn into reality. I’m focusing on my turning my dream into reality and it’s a bonus finding someone who understands the general direction I’m going towards. It’s also rare when he’s trying to go in that direction. I already put one foot in the door so what do I have to fear? If he doesn’t appreciate who I am, then I can just leave him in the dust and someone else will come along. It’s been happening for the past few times. I just have to focus on myself and not overthink. Instead, I’m starting to learn a lot about myself and learning to be confident, compassion, curious, and courageous. These 4 C’s allow myself to trust again.
Some things happen for a reason…and sometimes, those reasons are meant to be hidden and not be found. Just continue to appreciate life as it is.
Hiraeth 